We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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