Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
