I'll bet she douches with gravy.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
