It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
