I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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