I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
