Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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