She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
