It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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