I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
