brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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