so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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