you traded sex for a burrito?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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