it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
There's always time for handjobs
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
