Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
