I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
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