you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
