quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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