oh god the rape fog is back!
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
