He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
