but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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