I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
