So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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