This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
