yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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