She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i drank out of a bidet.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
