This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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