you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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