i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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