You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
