Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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