I swear god or herbie drove my car home
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
