I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
