'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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