I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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