gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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