last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize