I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
