But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
