I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
