she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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