i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
