forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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