Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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