The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
