just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
