piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize