like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
