please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
