party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
