Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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