check it out our google latitudes are spooning
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
