I want to stick my p in your. b.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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