you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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