i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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