So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
