Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
