remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
What a dumb baby whore.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
