remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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