I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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