1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
