i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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