ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
