I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
