Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I wish I could teleport
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
