do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
