I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
