so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
