She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
