i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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