He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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