..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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