was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
